Friday, March 28, 2008

"Jack and Jill vs. The World" Movie Response, EWWWWWW




I just finished watching a screener of "Jack and Jill vs. The World" starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and Taryn Manning, written, directed, produced and co-starring Vanessa Parise, a woman who is obviously looking to launch her career by tackling a feature all by her lonesome and doing a remarkably bad job of it. Her film can only be described as the longest 89 minutes of my life.

When Freddie Prinze Jr, looking bloated and worn out while trying to do his best Patrick Bateman (and failing), is the best actor in a piece, you know you're in trouble. Taryn Manning is desperately trying to recreate Drew Barrymore but comes across as utterly charmless and vacant.

As far as writing goes, I think my favorite lines were, "I come from an island. The island of heart surrounded by the sea of intuition" or "Boingo, boingo! Time to be a mommy!!!" Anyone who would knowingly scribe those lines and then, even more sinful, direct the horrendous performances that accompany them (and they're even worst when badly acted) should be ashamed of themselves (yes, Vanessa, I’m talking to you).

The film is riddled with holes and contrivances. For example, how does Manning’s character find her way to the roof of the executive building she has no business being in? I get it, she has to meet Prinze somehow but come on! And then, to illustrate her wild child-ness, she drop kicks her phone off the roof and onto the congested streets of New York. Riiiiight! That’s like when Indiana Jones throws a gun away because it’s out of bullets. The love story is pitifully slapped together with chewing gum and scotch tape while Manning and Prinze have the electric chemistry of 20 watt bulb.

Ohhh, and did I forget to mention this reheated Love Story is boy meets girl, girl inspires boy to buy free trade coffee and leave his six figure a year advertising executive job because that’s what righteous people do (again, riiiiight), girl reveals she has cystic fibrosis…STOP! Hold the phone! Is that supposed to make up for the bad acting, heinous direction and sophomoric writing? She’s got a tragic and terminal disease?!?!? Well, it doesn’t. It almost becomes laughable and should greatly anger anyone whose life has been touched by the disease which is awful and painful and tragic and not something to be trotted out for your shlocky script. If Parise’s family or life has been affected by the disease, she should have written about it in her journal, not used it as a dramatic device in a film that will rot on a shelf if there is any justice in the world.

The film is excruciating on every level; writing, acting, directing, even wardrobe (apparently free spirits need to wear odious amounts of pink). This is the kind of flick that gives independent filmmaking a bad name.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

"Stop Loss"-Movie Response





After ogling the online trailer for nearly five months, I finally went to a screening of "Stop Loss" last night. All atwitter knowing a bevy of beautiful, shirtless men were awaiting me, I felt like a kid in a candy store.

Sure, I care about the issues as much as the next girl but, come on, we all know the majority of ticket sales on opening weekend will come from people excited to watch the scrumptious Channing Tatum cry while being both tender and masculine or see Mr. Newly-Single-and-Ready-to-Mingle himself, Ryan Phillippe, strut around half naked caressing a shotgun. Let’s just call a spade a spade.

The film is Kimberly Peirce’s follow up to “Boys Don’t Cry” and it was ten years in the making. Her brother chose to enlist after 9-11 and was sent to Iraq. Upon his return he shared stories and videos (which are utilized and emulated in the movie) created during his tour and Peirce found the inspiration she’d be looking for.

“Stop Loss” follows a group of soldiers as they finish a tour in Iraq and return home, decorated and celebrated veterans, ready to return to life as civilians. Or so they think. Thanks to the demented mind of George W. Bush and his cronies, realizing there was no way to continue their idiotic siege on Iraq without exploiting even more innocent people, they created a back door draft known as the Stop Loss clause where any soldier can be sent back to battle if it is necessitated in wartime. But “Stop Loss” isn’t just about this egregious policy, it’s about the emotional ramifications war takes on the psyche of these young men, the fall out witnessed by the people who love them and the bonds between soldiers who fight and die side by side.

It has all the makings of something truly great…but it falls short.


Kimberly Peirce loves to create a world and then let it suffocate you. She did it with “Boys Don’t Cry”; she does it with “Stop Loss”. She never allows the audience to feel the emotional resonance of a situation because she lets her actors feel it for us. Worse yet, there are no layers, no subtlety. From the moment the film starts you’re driving toward a brick wall at 90 miles an hour and you just sit there waiting for the crash tensely. There was never a moment in “Boys Don’t Cry” when I wasn’t anticipating a horrific, violent murder. I understand that soldiers live in a constant state of PTSD inducing terror and adrenaline but this is a film and I want an emotional experience.

On more than one occasion I felt like I was watching a remake of “Varsity Blues” but take out football, insert Iraq and replace “I don’t want your life” with “This family is done fightin’ this war”. The truth is you can see the ghost of something remarkable. If you watch the trailer and compare it to the film, you’ll find plot points that would’ve helped shape the film immensely but have been amputated, leaving behind the itch of a phantom limb.

Luckily, Channing and Ryan are as stunning as you might hope and Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues to define himself as The One to Watch, not just because he stunning and looks like a young Keanu Reeves but because this kid will continue acting for decades and deserves the roles Ryan Gosling gets.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Let’s Do a Can-Can: It’s Crepe Time








Ahhh, the French. We can thank them for Brigitte Bardot, Champagne and Crepes, all tantalizing creations. Crepes Dusigne, a tiny cafĂ© which opened only four months ago, is easily whiz-by-able on Olympic but take heed; you’re passing up an edible stroll down the Seine served with a side of whipped cream. Pump the brakes!!! It’s Crepe Time! (Oh la la)

Just off Sawtelle (and around the corner from the nefarious, sub-par Crepe Nazi with all his stupid rules at Crepes To Go) is a lovely and talented Frenchman awaiting your arrival, griddles toasty, spatula in hand. Both owner and crepe master, he takes and makes your order while you settle into one of the six small tables, three inside, three outside, which, luckily, have yet to be overrun.

Everything about Crepes Dusigne is slightly truncated; the menu is succinct, seating is limited and the wait for your order to arrive is mercifully short. Well, almost everything. When it comes to delectability and portions, they invite you to indulge.

The menu is simple but perfectly executed. Offering both sweet and savory crepes, your choices are limited to the best options.

Traditional savory buckwheat crepes, served with a small, undressed side salad, come with your choice of cheese, egg, ham, turkey, smoked salmon, sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, artichokes and spinach. That’s all they serve and, in truth, that’s all you need.

You can vie for zen bliss (just gimme the cheese!) or load up on what they call “The Works” (everything on the menu in one delightful crepe bursting at the seams with yumminess), it all depends on your mood and the vastness of your appetite. The Works offers a different flavor experience bite to bite as you unearth a treasure trove of flavors; turkey and sundried tomato on one forkful, artichoke and spinach on the next. Smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers are a stellar combination bringing together oozing cheese, meaty smoke and a poppy, tart punch. The towering flavor of two little choices, Ham and Cheese, transports you from the congested whir on Olympic to a far flung Arrodissement where accordion music wafts around you and people wear berets. Oui, oui!

Sweet offerings are equally simple and divine. Sugar (regular or with lime), chocolate, jam, Nutella, banana and Grand Marnier crepes are served with whipped cream before being drizzled with melted chocolate and powered sugar.

Sugar crepes arrive with caramelized sugar and melted butter filling the slightly sweetened thin pancake and leaving you wondering if eating a second order is bad…or bad in a good way. Classic Nutella meltingly gives way as knife and fork dive into the hazelnut goodness sending a bit of the scrumptiousness out from under its pillowy retreat and occasionally forcing a finger-to-plate-to-mouth situation. Manners be damned! We’re Americans, who cares how gross we look? This stuff is good and it would be a sin to waste even a morsel!

Crepes Dusigne succeeds in the details; the little chocolates served with freshly brewed coffee, the quality of ingredients used, the fact that the owner offered a complimentary plate of sweet crepes after noticing my enthusiasm for his restaurant (and he never knew I was there to research a review). With prices starting at $3.25 and topping out at $8.00, one wonders why anyone would bother with a plane ticket when there’s a plateful of France waiting in West LA. Viva la Crepe!

Crepes Dusigne

11301 W. Olympic Blvd.

#125

Los Angeles, CA 90064

310.473.0903

Tues-Thurs: 8am-6pm

Fri-Sat: 8am-11pm

Closed Sunday and Monday

Besides crepes, my other favorite French food is a great Nicoise Salad but I rarely have the time or ingredients to make one so I created a recipe for a quick, easy, low fat, high protein, low carb one. It’s great to throw together in the summer and keep in the fridge for a fast lunch or snack and the tastes intensify the longer you allow them to macerate. Just save the romaine for last or else the leaves get too soggy.

Quickie “Nicoise” Salad

Serves 2

Salad-

1 cup French (small and thin like all things French) green beans, trimmed

1 can water packed, dolphin safe tuna, drained

½ cup English cucumber (skin on), diced

10-12 cherry tomatoes, halved

6-8 Nicoise (Kalamata is a fine substitute) olives, pitted and halved

2 Tablespoons fresh basil, julienned (there is no substitute for fresh)

1 head Romaine lettuce, torn into bite sized pieces

Dressing-

4 Tablespoons balsamic vinegar

2 Tablespoons Dijon mustard

2 teaspoons honey, maple syrup or brown sugar (not all three, just pick one to act as a sweetening balance)

1 clove chopped garlic

4 Tablespoons olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

  1. Place green beans in a large, microwave safe bowl.
  2. Microwave green beans on high for 45 seconds.
  3. Add tuna, cucumber, tomatoes, olives and basil to green beans. Mix well and set aside.
  4. In a small bowl, combine vinegar, mustard, and either honey, maple syrup or sugar and garlic. Mix well.
  5. Add olive oil in a steady stream until mixture is well emulsified. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  6. Add vinaigrette to tuna/vegetable mixture and check seasoning.
  7. Arrange torn romaine leaves on two plates and top with tuna mixture.
  8. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Lou: Really? This is What All the Hype Was About?











Small plates, hard to find, non-descript locale and a rave winning dish called “Pig Candy”? What foodie isn’t intrigued? If you’re cool enough to have heard about Lou, the new semi-organic-wine-bar-meets-pseudo-tapas outlet in a slightly ominous strip mall on Vine, you’re cool enough to know, it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Bypassing tried and true favorites Tere’s and Mario’s Peruvian, you’ll come to the intersection of Melrose and Vine with its crop of mini malls. Housed in one of these florescent lit, Laundromat rich establishments is a dark door that seems as innocuous as the next. If you look closely enough, overhead you’ll see a devastatingly simple sign that whispers “Lou”.

Step inside and you’re instantly transported to a mecca of claustrophobic cool. The design is excellent beyond reproach with splashy Warhol-esque curtains blotting the outside world, birch tree wall paper, low light and books on wine resting in cubes behind the bar. One long communal table (a seeming prerequisite for all new tapas restaurants these days) is surrounded by smaller tables for two or four on either side. Get ready to smush and don’t talk about anything you don’t want your neighbors to hear about. I was practically the third wheel on a first date taking place to my left. A trip to the bathroom feels like you’ve been let out of a cage, there’s suddenly so much room you almost don’t know what to do with yourself.

They don’t take reservations so the wait can be long but the wine list is well executed, researched and descriptive. Word to the wise, at all costs, avoid the Organic Beer! Don’t let the bartender trick you! Even a die hard microbrew lover would be hard pressed not to spit this swill directly on the floor. Wine really is the focus here with 35 options available for two ounce tastings, by the glass or bottle and Tuesday Flight Nights.

Once seated, the menu offers a selection of “Snacks”, “Salads”, “Cheese and charcuterie”, “Supper” and “Dessert”. Here’s the conundrum: Are they serving small plate tapas or dishes that are meant to be a meal? At the prices listed ($6-10 for snacks, $8-12 for salads and $12-19 for supper) I expect a dish that will serve as a meal. At Lou, sadly, I’m mistaken. Luckily, the food is largely delicious if unbearably overpriced.

Pig Candy, their claim to fame, is bite sized pieces of Niman Bacon, coated in brown sugar and cayenne pepper before being baked to a crisp, sugary finish. My two companions were reduced to blathering fools they were so disarmed by the tastiness. The menu at Lou changes based on the availability of ingredients from local growers and the popularity of dishes but Pig Candy is a year round fixture and their crowning achievement.

The Savory Tart with Wild Mushrooms, Green Garlic and Goat Cheese served with a lightly dressed (but too heavily salted) Frisee Salad is delicious, accented by the different notes each mushroom sang. Some are meaty, others smoky, others nutty. Mixed with the creamy goat cheese and thin yet toothy crust, the only complaint is finishing the dish in four bites and yearned for a second helping.

Warm Salad of Farro tossed with wilted Pea Tendrils, Roasted Winter Squash, Dried Cranberries and Roasted Hazelnuts, served with Blue Cheese Smeared Toast gives a new understanding of why the Romans considered this grain a feast. Robust and satisfying yet still clean and light, there is a perfect balance in each bite.

Niman Flat Iron Steak with Bistro Potatoes and Wild Arugula was another stand out and seemed to be the most popular dish of the night as plate after plate was seen exiting the kitchen. The steak is sauced with a light, sweet au jus, arriving medium rare, pink and tender with a surprisingly snappy outer crust. Bistro Potatoes are divine though also overly salted.

Lou is somewhat uneven. This is a wine bar after all and sometimes the food seems like the bastard stepchild. When bread was requested, it arrived stale and without butter. When butter was served, it came in foil wrapped pats, a la IHOP. Potato Leek Soup tastes like it came from the Pavilions across the street, the charcuterie plank was less than inspired and there seems to be a heavy reliance on both Frisee and Baby Arugula. Worst of all, only ten minutes after the hefty bill arrives, you might find you stomach growling. Luckily there’s a donut shop next door and Tere’s is only a block away. And you can still tell the cool kids you ate at Lou.

Lou

724 N Vine St

Los Angeles, CA 90038

Mon-Sat: 6pm-12am

323.962.6369

Here’s my rendition of the best dish Lou is currently serving:

Farro Salad

2 cups Farro, rinsed and drained (Brown Rice can be substituted)
5 cups water
1 package “Fresh Harvest Medley” from Trader Joe’s (or 3 cups of any combo of winter vegetables: yams, butternut squash, turnips, brussel sprouts, pumpkin, etc)
½ cup nuts (hazelnuts, pinenuts or walnuts are all good choices)

1 tablespoon fresh thyme, minced
3 tablespoons olive oil
½ cup mixed dried cranberries, tart cherries and golden raisins

2 cups arugula
1 ½ tablespoons toasted walnut oil (or more olive oil)
Salt to taste

1. Preheat oven to 375.

2. Combine farro, salt, and water in a large, heavy saucepan over medium heat. Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the farro is tender, 45 minutes to an hour.

3. Remove from heat, drain any excess water, and set aside.

4. While the farro is cooking, toss vegetables, nuts and thyme with olive oil and salt to taste.

5. Arrange in a single layer and roast until golden, about 25 minutes.

6. In a large bowl gently toss all ingredients with additional oil. Test for seasoning and adjust if necessary.

7. Enjoy!